December 2009

To Our Little Angel

A post from Ayie (my fiancee) for our little angel



From the very beginning I loved you,
As I made plans to hold you and rock you:
You were tiny and helpless as you lay in mom's womb,
But something went wrong and soon you were gone;
My young heart was broken, my tears fell like rain,
I'd never known such heartache and pain.

I wonder who you look like, me or your mom,
Do you have my smile and his eyes?
Would you have been big and tall or tiny and small?
We had dreams for you that reached to the skies.
Thanks to Jesus, I'll see you in heaven.

We'll hold you in heaven someday,
When Our trials on earth pass away;
The angels have rocked you, the Father watches over you,
I know you're waiting for us;
I never could hold you or tell you "Goodbye",
But We'll hold you in heaven someday.

and this one is from me...

You Are My Little Angel,
Up Above In Heaven Now,
I Wish That I Could Hold You,
If Only There Was A Way How...

You Are Still My Little One,
I Keep You In My Heart,
I Know Someday I'll See You,
And We Wont Be Apart...

But Until Then I'll Think Of You,
In The Rain Or Shine,
I Will Keep On Loving You,
You'll Always Be Mine...

So Take Care My Darling,
In Heaven Up Above,
And Until I See You,
I'll Send Up All My Love...


Messages from family and friends

When I got out of the hospital, I posted a new status in my facebook account:

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thanks to all my family and friends the d care, support & love you have shown me,ayie and our little angel, for the past 3 days...it would take us some time to cope with what had happened but i know God has another plan for us,a very special one...

to my family (the whole oquindo clan!), never ending talga ang support as always, never fails! love you all! (special mention lang, wlang magtatampo ha!, to my nurse and cuzin toptop, hehe kaht pasaway ako, remained calm habang nagwawala ako sa hospital room, salamt sa pagbabantay maghapon at pag aalaga)...

to the kaladkarins, who cried for us as well with had happened, truly you proved us na true friends kayo, through thick and thin talaga, kahit xmas party natin super txt pa rin para maka-update what's happening na sa kin, walang wifi sa ospital! hehe...

to bes, love you, alam mo na un...

to my other friends, salamat ng marami...

to ayie -- bheng, kaya natin to!! pagsubok lang to! love ka namin ng little angel natin...

to our little angel, we might not be able to see and hold you, we were excited to have you. WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH! we will miss you! and for sure we'll always think of you...

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i received, again, tons of messages. i managed not to cry everytime i receive a message in my inbox, in my facebook wall, or even in my cellphone. here are the messages in my facebook wall.

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Tina
teary eyed naman ako... yeah, everything happens for a reason. pagaling ka ng husto.

Melanie
get well soon...

Chris
get well soon....

Rachelle Therese
remember that you and ayie still have each other, you have your very loving and supportive family, and we are always here-your friends to stick it out with you no matter what.

pagaling ka kaagad liv, be strong, keep the faith, maybe its not really meant to be , for now...but soon another blessing will come.

love you girl !

Noemi
Sis, isipin na lang natin, may magandang dahilan bkt nangyari ito. Hndi pa nga cguro ngaun ang right time. Don't lose hope.. At least may real angel na kayo to watch over you. Be strong. We'll pray for you.ingat lagi!

Christine
hi ne,hope everything is ok...God has a reason why it happen,be strong...in return youll receive what is real for you and ayie...always here for you. Cheer up!

Chris
get well soon livs... intay lang, i'm sure kapag tamang panahon na, another blessing will come sa inyo ni ayie. tc...

Bernadette
be strong and tama god is have a reason for everything... take care!!!

Christine Everth
Hello nene and ayie, we are always here for you. **hugs** to you and ayie. can't say more.. we are very sad too with what happened.

Mae Yu
...Getwellsoon livia...!!!try to have another one...

Marivic
ingat ka lagi....

Dave Vergel
God will always be there to lead you... God Bless you always...

Kai
get well soon Liv, kay nyo yan ni Ayie...may God give both of you the strength...we're all here for both of you...hugs =)

Christopher
To Ate Ne: HAHAHAHAH!!!! wala un.....NAKADIAPERS KA NAMAN eh..hehehhe

Christopher
To Ayie: GAwa na lang ulit....Famous line " Di kp pde bumangon Dahil Mahihilo ka" ....

Majune
I know that ur little angel will watch over you forever.. Ninang Liv, me and my 2 little angels too .. esp ur inaanak.. we are just here for you.. love you...

Jalysa Miriella
get well soon,ate!

Ariel

tnx 2 all my family & friends 4 d care,support & luv u have shown me, liv & our little angel,4 d past 3 days....

kay MAMA na kahit na alma naming sobrang kinakabahan eh tawag ng tawag at text ng text kahit maha...l

kay PAPA at kay BOSS na kasama ko ngantay at ngpuyat sa hospital...... See More

kay top na parang nurse at doctor ( on call ) at the same time

sa mga nurses at doctor na ngbigay ng knailang pagaaruga kailanga at pacencya nung panahong kailangan nmin...

sa mga taong ndi nkapunta pero alam nmn nming nandayn lang kc ngpaparamdam nmn

sa mga KALADKARIN......walang kupas na supporta sa amiin MARAMING SALAMAT...each time na kasami nmin kau lalo nyo lang pinapakitang ndi kmi ngkami ng sinasamahan....SOLID

to liv---> bheng tulad ng sinabi ko sau...pagsubok lang ito...as long as we have each other I know kaya nating lagpasan ito...

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here are messages in my facebook inbox

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irma
ganon pala ang nangyari,really sad dont worry if hat the consequences and complication will happened,lets pray n lang next time everything will be alright, ngat ka lagi, and have rest for the meantime, kain ka mabuti para makabawi ka okk.pagod ka din. pahinga kaw ha, sunod okey na okey na. GOD BLESS.

Marose
hi, i saw your post. hope you and ayie will be ok soon. i'll be including you in my prayers. God bless!

Mac
I'm so sad for both of you.

I know gusto mo na magka baby matagal na kaya lam ko na super saya mo nung nalaman mo na preggy ka. Si ayie, as far as i know H.S pa lang kami sinasabi nya sakin na ayaw nya magka baby kasi he's scared na matulad sya sa father nya, pero the mere fact na he accepted the responsibility of being a father sa baby nyo, lam ko na yun ang pinakamasayang nangyari sa kanya.. I am truly sad for you, ayie and sa baby nyo.

I can't tell you "I know the feeling so be strong", kasi hindi ako naka experience ng nangyari sa inyo, Pero I know the feeling of loosing someone you love. and it really hurts. All I can say is; embrace the emotions, embrace everything that is happening right now, this is the better way to get over it than pretending to be strong. If you have to cry it out loud, do it.

If there's something I can do, seriously, just ask me. I haven't prayed to God since he took my mom away from me, but tonight i'll ask him to take good care of your little angel.

Sarah
kmusta ka na? d ko alam yung nangyri sau. nakita ko lng post mo. get well soon. i will pray for your fast recovery and to your little angel. God bless :)

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I have already deleted most of the text messages I have received, so I won't be able to post them in here.

I am posting this because I just want to say thank you to everyone. Those messages have kept and helped me to be strong, and made me realize that a lot of people cares for me.

Again, thank you!

Sadness. . .

At the end of October, I found out I was pregnant. I am so happy and so excited. Well, everyone got excited by the time they got to know it. I had my prenatal checkup and my due date is supposed to be the 3rd of July 2010.

Come end of November after my trip to Subic, I had spotting which eventually led to bleeding. I was bed rest for 4 days before the bleeding worsened.

Friday, December 4, I was rushed to the hospital where I was checked, had an ultrasound and all the tests needed to know the reason of the said bleeding. I was supposed to be on my 9th week yet when I had the ultrasound, it was found out that it only measures 4 weeks and there was no fetal pole inside the gestational sac.

After further analysis and tests, my doctor said that it was a blighted ovum. He explained it to me and I also did some research on it after I got out of the hospital

Saturday morning, I was told not to drink or eat anything as advised by my doctor because I will have to go on a Dilation and curettage procedure or also known as D&C, in tagalog it is called "raspa". I really didn't know what it is. All I know at that time is I'm pregnant but no fetus was found. They have to remove the sac so as not to cause any complications on me. I cried for an hour or so until before the procedure. I even refused to go into the operating room and have anesthesia without first seeing my doctor. The procedure lasted for, I guess, only 30 minutes. I was awake the whole time it was done. I stayed at the recovery room for 2 hours before I got transferred back to my hospital room.

When I get back, there were tons of text messages from my friends and family. They have been sending messages the whole day asking me how I am, what I am feeling, sorry for what happened, and all those things. All I can tell them at that time is "I'm sad".

When I got out of the hospital, we (me and my fiancee) have been staying at my parent's house so I can fully rest. A week had already passed, and still I can feel the pain and sadness of losing my first child. I'm trying my best to be strong and to move forward. . . . . . .


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"A blighted ovum (also known as “anembryonic pregnancy”) happens when a fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterine wall, but the embryo does not develop. Cells develop to form the pregnancy sac, but not the embryo itself. A blighted ovum usually occurs within the first trimester before a woman knows she is pregnant. A high level of chromosome abnormalities usually causes a woman’s body to naturally miscarry."

What causes a blighted ovum?

A blighted ovum is the cause of about 50% of first trimester miscarriages and is usually the result of chromosomal problems. A woman’s body recognizes abnormal chromosomes in a fetus and naturally does not try to continue the pregnancy because the fetus will not develop into a normal, healthy baby. This can be caused by abnormal cell division, or poor quality sperm or egg.

What is a D&C Procedure?

D&C, also known as dilation and curettage, is a surgical procedure often performed after a first trimester miscarriage

source: american pregnancy


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